John Hayward Posted: 3 July 2009
Keywords: Lifestyle Issues, Sex & Relationships,
Police investigating a water leak in Edinburgh this week discovered in a tenement flat the body of a pensioner which may have lain undisturbed for up to five years.
One wants to cry out, why did nobody notice? Where were the family and friends of Isabella Purves, who would have been 90 this year? Yet just last month, figures released by Help the Aged and Zurich Community Trust revealed that a staggering one person in five with an elderly father is no longer in touch with him, with one in four claiming to be too busy to maintain contact.
A third of the UK's elderly population live alone, including half of all women over 65. Of the million elderly men who live alone in the UK, half have no human contact - no contact with friends and no contact from their families - and many feel trapped inside their homes. More than a million pensioners suffer from loneliness, almost half a million leave their homes only once a week and a further 300,000 are completely housebound. According to a British Social Attitudes study, a quarter of people over 65 say they have no 'best friend'.
This poses a huge challenge - and opportunity - to the Church. As we wrote in our 1990 Jubilee Centre publication From Generation To Generation, 'There are two tasks in particular of which the Church is especially capable. They are the spiritual care of the elderly and those who care for elderly relatives, and the practical support of those elderly people who need care, and of their carers.'
Rather than ask where the family and friends of the elderly who live in your community are, spend a moment to ask what you and your church are doing to demonstrate care and support to the elderly and others who live alone in your neighbourhood. Like most of us, many may initially resist offers of help - a combination of not wanting to be the recipient of what might be perceived as charity, not wanting to feel a burden to others, and not wanting to give up a belief that we are independent. However, it is imperative that we help shoulder the burdens of others - for the truth is we are all dependent on others and benefit from being able to love just as much as from being loved.
So, who is your neighbour?
Why do so many elderly people live alone? Its got so many disadavantages. The only reasons I've managed to come up with are:
- dislike of change
- pride in their home
- belief in independence
- all the associated memories in the home
- or, they just prefer it that way.
but none of these are very good reasons to be sympathetic.
Our church has made some efforts with the elderly but its not easy!
Alex Popkin (via FB) 3 July 2009
What about if their husband or wife dies? Or they have nowhere else to go except an old peoples' home? Are these not good reasons why elderly people live alone?
Many people do not want to make the lifestyle sacrifices needed to have their mum or dad come and live with them. Suitable accommodation is not easy to find everywhere.
You say you've managed to 'come up' with these reasons - what do the elderly people you've spoken to actually say themselves?
Stuart 9 July 2009
Radio 4 had a piece this morning about people who die alone. It concluded with a lady who makes funeral preparations for such people observing, "We live in a large city and to think that somebody has died on their own, I always find that sad. But I also have to remember that this is their choice of life."
Like Stuart, I'm not convinced it is always "their choice."
You can read more on the BBC Today website.
John Hayward 10 July 2009
I think that when seniors have a computer and a connection to the Internet, the problem of loneliness has a very big chance of disappearing!
Blogs, forums, chat rooms and simply hearing what others have to say and expressing opinions in blog comments such as this can really evaporate loneliness. The problem is that many seniors don't have the luxury of computer literacy! So as you've rightly said, neglect is the big issue here.
Fortunately there are free software programs available such as "Big Buttons" which make computing easier for those who are first starting out, and luckily they are available for free online (www.bigbuttons.com.au)! "Eldy" is a European platform that does a similar thing to "Big Buttons" - check both out (Eldy.eu). I know that my grandparents are finding them very useful and maybe others will too (with luck!).
Ben Hall 13 September 2009
It is a sad story to realize that the elderly, after spending their life caring for others, would be left alone to live a depressed miserable life, and die without anyone's knoledge. It should not be so. There has to be some way to change them. Men and women are not made to live alone."It is not good for man to live alone", ans God created woman for him as a companion. But this is not only stated for marriage, but for any man and any woman. They need to be placed with others in a community living, rather than have each one in his own home or apartment.
I once placed an ad in the paper for two weeks, and asked" Are you tired of living alone", as a statistic study, and 8 people answered the ad, expressing their frrling, but they were afraid to proceed, because they did not know the person who placed the ad, and were afraid to be taken advantage of.
There is a real reason to be concerned, and there is a way to take care of it; living in a familial community as members of one family. I am trying to spread this feeling around, but it needs a public voice to make it work.
Anthony 22 September 2009
The blog is quite amazing. The examples like how elderly are handled in the community, has been nice.
Navdeep 19 May 2010
It is really sad how the elderly are being neglected these days. I don’t know why people treat their parents and other elderly people like this. I really feel bad when something like this comes up on the internet. However, I must say that it is commendable that residences like DevonHouse of Allentown http://www.devonhouseassistedliving.com/index.htm offer assisted living. I am happy to see that there are still such establishments that take care of the needs of the elderly.
senior assisted living 27 May 2010